Not Our Time Yet

Finally after the 2 week wait last week, I’m typing this out and with mother’s day that went by over the weekend, I guess it isn’t our time yet. Somehow, it was an unspoken thing between me and my husband but both of us felt it when woke up that morning after my dad called to confirm our plans for the day. We just looked at each other, he hugged me and I cried for a while.Who knows what HE has in store for both of us. We can only hope and pray.

After the last FET that did not happen,  I waited for another cycle as instructed by Dr. Sadhana. We were left with 4 more embryos. Looking at how they did not survive the 5 day blastocyst the last time round, they placed me on standby after checking that my uterine lining was good. This time it was a 8.9mm and true enough, we were called up on Saturday morning on 11.04.15. Dr. Sadhana was not around to manage the embryo insertion. We had another gynae to do it. They managed to salvage 2 out of the 4 embryos and inserted them in. One was a Grade 3 and another was a Grade 4.

Both of us went about our daily lives and of course, like the last time, I was so tempted to try the test kit. The 2 week-wait was agonizing! So came the day of the blood test on 27.04.15. Somehow the husband and I didn’t have a good feeling about it. After the blood test, we went off for a pit-stop to the Vans sale @ Wisma Gulap. While waiting for him to have a puff or 2 before going for the sale, I received a call from KKH. Just after she told me that it was negative, I just bawled! The husband pulled me close and i just cried my heart out. Funny how I was all strong and telling him how I’d be ok…. but after the news, I just broke down. I wanted so much for the nurse to just call back and somehow, they made a mistake or accidentally switched my results. But I know it is what it is.

Don’t get me wrong… you can still talk to me about babies, pregnancy and so on. I’m ok and I will be ok. I am elated for people around me getting pregnant and giving birth and I wish them all the best in their journey, for I know that each couple have their own trials and tribulations to becoming a parent. I enjoy reading and hearing about other bloggers/friends’ pregnancy journey coz it gives me an insight on what I can expect or need to expect when the time comes. 🙂

15 comments

  1. Hi dear..
    Seems like you are going tru some tough time..
    I hope things will get betta for both u n hubby..InsyaAllah

    After some tests & consultations, me & Hub are advised to go tru IVF
    as the chance of natural pregnancy seems quite slim for us ='(
    currently we are waiting for KKIVF to give us a call within the next 2 wks.
    So I was doin some researching to find wat to expect n such n found ur entry.

    Anyways I really hope you are feeling much betta..
    lets tawakkal n InsyaAllah things will get betta for us. =)

    1. Hi Fyn, thank you for reading my site and thank you for the well wishes. Just not time for us to have kids yet for now I guess. 🙂
      I hope that IVF will be successful for you. Any specific doctors that you are taking? WOuld recommend you Dr. Sadhana. When I went thru the IVF, she was always calm and positive with us.

      InsyaAllah things will be better for you as well.

      1. We hvnt really start the IVF process.. We only took another blood test the other day.
        Don’t have any DR. in mind yet either but will take note on ur recommendation. =)
        Anyways do u hv to go tru counselling? Coz the doc from our last consultation mentioned that we hv to go tru some counselling if we decide to go ahead with IVF.

        1. If I recall correctly, your husband and yourself will have to sit through a short presentation by the nurses and a doctor on how the IVf procedure is going to be and you will ahve to sign a few forms. They will inform you about the relevant costs and you have the option to go through the counselling. If I am not wrong, I opted out for the counselling portion. but to each their own. 🙂

          Here’s some links on IVF from my site that I hope could be of use.
          http://www.twonineoctober.com/go-start-ivf/
          http://www.twonineoctober.com/ivf-halfway-there/
          http://www.twonineoctober.com/costs-relevant-information-ivf-kkh/

  2. just got a call from KKH and they said I cant proceed with IVF. ='(
    The blood test I took shows that i hv Hepatitis c. More more more tests to be done.. =(

    1. Hugs Fyn… hopefully more tests done and they can further advise how u can move forward with ur TTC plan… at least the test would help you find out wat are the next steps… *hugs*

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